This is the Miracle of Love

Patience is a virtue that rarely comes easily. I plan things; I do things by a plan. So when Miss Charlotte's test score came back as a t.w.e.n.t.y.-e.i.g.h.t. rather than, let's say a 67 (that's what I was trying to visualize) Devastation isn't even close to how I felt. (And still how I feel.) I want to hold a crying baby, and yes, of course I want her to be ready, but I felt owed this score. I know it’s selfish, but it’s honest. My thoughts were somewhere along the lines of "God, you have one of my babies, I want this one NOW." So that was Brian that posted the other day, I would never have said "a little bit longer," because now we have to wait two more weeks. Two weeks is no "little" time.

Two weeks means that now I have to go way past the point where we lost Harrison. It feels like a ticking time bomb. Dr. Bonebrake offered to do another amonio on Friday, but I won't do that to Charlotte. After 14 hours of constant movement on Thursday, I called Dr. Jones who readmitted us to the hospital at 2am for observation and then a biophysical in the morning. We really love those doctors. Anyone that thanks me for calling, and says I can come in everyday for the next two weeks is good with me. Really good...and it's been over 24 hours and I haven't called, but I know that they don't mind if I do.

Two weeks also means that we will go past our due date with Harrison. That she will most likely be born exactly one year and one month past his birthday.

We will go early though. No one is comfortable with me carrying 4o weeks. 39 weeks is the longest Miss Charlotte can go. The risks go up after 39 weeks. (I know we all read the benefits of those last weeks, but the last week is also when stillborn risk increases. That and every day after that.)

So there we are. I managed to get out of bed today...I even showered and we went to a birthday party. Now I am off for a few errands (retail therapy). Then I may crawl back in bed…it’s warm there.

Love,
Jenn