His plans

Well, lent is over and I am overwhelmed by God's love. The most powerful, all loving God gave His son, His son... so Harrison could live in a Heaven so great that my dreams of heaven are small in comparison to Harrison's life in heaven. A life, that I would beg to have had here on earth. Now, I don't mean to sound ungrateful, and I know that I am being given an incredible blessing by this amazing God-given-pregnancy, but it is so hard grieving for my baby and having another baby living in me.

Every moment, I am giving my worries up to God. Then the anxiety hits again and again I give it back up to Him. I know He can handle my constant chatter to Him. His inbox is never to full for my thoughts. Isn't that beyond believable? Still I absolutely believe.

So let me tell you all about this pregnancy.

I found out I was pregnant at 3 weeks. Yep, God can amuse and amaze at the same time! We were NOT going to get pregnant in January. Really. That was our plan. Once again, our plans are sometimes not His plans. So we came home from our Florida trip and I am nauseous and so sick that I stayed in bed on Sunday. Now remember, I had just returned from a trip in which I literally caught so much vomit in my hands, that I lost track. So my coming down with something seemed completely reasonable. Reasonable up until Brian said he was picking up Chinese...and my taste buds went wild...I HAD TO HAVE CHINESE. So I asked him to pick up a pregnancy test. He gave me the completely confused look, while announcing that was impossible...you know how that little test came out. So on Monday morning, I called Dr. Jones, who had me take a blood test confirming I was about 3 weeks pregnant. She started me on progesterone and Folbee plus (Vitamin B Complex/Vitamin C/Biotin/Folic Acid ) and prenatal vitamins, of course. She also has been keeping a very close eye on my thyroid, which has already changed twice.

At 5 weeks, I had some spotting. She was awesome and had me in for an ultrasound within 30 minutes. I have a small hemitoma that had leaked slightly, but we were able to see our very small peanut for the first time and I fell to my knees asking God for this child; for this hemitoma to not grow, but for the baby to keep growing. So far, our prayers are being answered. The baby is continuing to grow perfectly, the hemitoma is not. We have evidence of this in all 4 ultrasounds. (12 weeks=4 ultrasounds and 6 doctor appointments!)

Right now, I will continue seeing Dr. Jones every two weeks and see a high risk doctor every month. We will adjust this as need be. (And as my needs be!)

These are fairly non-emotional thoughts I have shared. There are lots of emotional thoughts. I will share these too. Tonight, I just wanted to let you in on these thoughts.

Love,
Jenn