Open Arms.

Brian and I went to a grief support group last night. If I was looking for a pick-me-up, this wasn't it...nothing like hanging out with other moms that lost their babies. Not only that, the meeting was across the street from the cemetery. How I can be that physically close to my baby, but not hold him? On the up side, I kept hearing about their faith...faith that is holding them up, the same faith that is holding me up.

Just a few months ago, Gavyn and I had this discussion about how God doesn't require you to stop, kneal down and pray, rather you can just talk to Him. He's your friend, your Father, He just wants you to listen to Him. I know Gavyn's four, but we've ALWAYS talked like this. I want him to love the Lord like I do. I want him to go to the Lord always, with anything. I want my children to have faith.

Faith is a funny thing. Believing in something you cannot see is not always easy. Sometimes, it is nearly impossible. I believed God would give me Harrison to hold in my arms and He did. It was just so much shorter than I thought. So much shorter.

God accepts us with open arms. No judgement. Complete forgiveness. Unconditional love. I look at my children and I know this feeling, only He feels it deeper. He gave me the ability to feel love...and to give it. I am amazed, even when it hurts so deeply.

Jenn